Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
