so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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