my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
