Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i now understand why vodka
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
