I heard we made out
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
