I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
