i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
