I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize