so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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