Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize