The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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