i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
