EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
