textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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