Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
