Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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