Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
