yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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