by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
