Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
