Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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