So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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