they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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