whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
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