Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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