Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
A bitchslap is in order.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
