She's JV to your varsity
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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