Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
