hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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