What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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