i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
