just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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