As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
