Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
