Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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