Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
