I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
