it wasn't lemon gatorade
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
