yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize