Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
