maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
