Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour