just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!