he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.