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• (858): View more from California

  I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...

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• (209): View more from California

  Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.

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