Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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