A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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