I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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