Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
