I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
