I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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