I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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