but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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