No more Irish car bombs ever.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
