i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
did i just pee glitter
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
