I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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