Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
