Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize