am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
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I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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