I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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